Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
