I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
