just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
