i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
