I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
