the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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