So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
