Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
