There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can I color on your dick again?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
