sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
