I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
