I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
