You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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