I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
