There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
