yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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