i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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