Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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