What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize