I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
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cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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