is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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