Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
