roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Sext me about skeletons
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
