Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
