wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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