she was so not down for the gang bang
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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