oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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