I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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