I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
