I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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