I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
oh god the rape fog is back!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Mom said you looked used
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
