That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
