In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We're too hungover to prance.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
