I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
