I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
