I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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