no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
