That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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