He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
