we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize