my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
