Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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