If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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