Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's just like the Real World with babies
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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