i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
