he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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