Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
