My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
