he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
