You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
