omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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