oh god the rape fog is back!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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