I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
