love makes seman taste better
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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