Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
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